i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
