Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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