Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
