On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
