It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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