I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
