i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
