im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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