i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Panties = found
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