Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
