Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
