i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
