I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
