Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
