do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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