This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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