If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I cut my penus on the lid.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
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