i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
