omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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