the new term for farting is butt boxing.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Be still, my beating vagina.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
