a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
