Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
