bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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