I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
