can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
