I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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