but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
