After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
