I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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