Whod you bang
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
