oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
