So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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