My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
