My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
