When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
