D3 body, D1 cock
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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