Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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