So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
