David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
