Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
