glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
