3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
