Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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