how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
