Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
her vagine was all disorganized.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
