i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
