Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
