Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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