whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
4 words: hood of his car
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
