At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
4 words: hood of his car
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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